Fond memories of this wealth around me

Waking up early is one of the things I like and especially to do something that fits in and reduces the burden of my work in the day. Given that it is quiet and serene it is one of those moments of time to catch.

Today was one such day and this time round I had this grand privilege to write out invitation cards to some of my friends I am calling for my wedding due to happen soon.

The excitement nearly died out because I realized that when it comes to friends, it seems I am wealthy. I have them in all shapes, colors, sizes and of different backgrounds, opinions and beliefs. Some are acquaintances and there are really core ones who I would call real friends.

So I wondered who deserves these cards! Real friends or acquaintances? Which of these real friends do actually deserve invitation cards and which ones don’t?

It dawned on me that my true friends actually do not need a card to come for my function. Actually the culture of where I come from bails me out nicely. People often and always freely come for functions as long as they get to know about it. They do not need a special invite.

So I thought for those who do not get any card or who are accustomed to cards this other side of life where my culture is almost shelved, feel free, you are welcome. I know there are some who will deserve a card because of their caliber or some other value embellished in them by some sort of responsibility they hold. To these a card is more than deserved.

But you see, it is only today that I appreciated that culture of mine. It defines in no uncertain terms who your friends, those who love you, your relations and enemies are. In fact functions such as these reveal your real wealth, the people in your life. You know it for the selflessness and the burden they are willing to shoulder because of you.

Therefore you do not limit, let alone by a card who wants to love you and be there for you and be a part of the happenings in your life. After all the functions that shape a life most often are the obscure and the attendants are not invited most times.

The truthfulness of this culture is that the real people who come into and are a part of your life are not invited per se. They are there somehow; they just come; not because you invited them or gave them anything of benefit at all. Life maybe I should say God places them where they need to be and when they need to be, freely.

So today I go to sleep refreshed by some of the fond memories of all this wealth around me; ever determined to cherish every moment and reminiscence of all who have fashioned me by being there for me.

Disability in the head

Today marks the beginning of the Paralympics in London that sees scores of several persons with abilities having some deformities take part in living their lives and dreams. Today also marks a historical gesture offered by Barcelona FC to Gabriel Muniz the 11 year old boy born without feet to train in their camp.

Muniz is said by the mother to have always been a fighter. That Muniz has had dreams of being a soccer player. His teacher says he is a child with a ‘can-do attitude and indefatigable spirit’ and as a result has won several medals as his school’s ‘star sportsman’.

Almost on the darker side, there is that story of the Malawian government that couldn’t support the dreams of some other Muniz’s who had hoped to step into their dream from tonight in the Paralympics.

The Malawian government leaders have stamped with approval the adage ‘Disability only exists inside our heads’ by failing to support the Malawian Paralympics dreams; by failing to recognize that they not only have extinguished the beacons of those great dreamers to shine but have deadened the spirits of many.

 In Africa, indeed in Uganda, the Malawian leadership attitude exemplifies the leadership and more so the societal mindset towards PWD’s. That mindset is a key disabler of dreams and aspirations of persons with abilities who have some deformities. Such a mindset is seen in the lack of funding for activities like sports, lack of training facilities which are tips of the real iceberg.

It continues to take the fighting spirit of the Muniz’s, the continuous dreaming and dedication of individual parents, couches and teachers to bring out the best in many other Muniz’s among us.

This throws a challenge to the national council of sports for Uganda to consider the development of such sports, identifying talents, providing facilities and training.

Resized

Everyone else has these moments when they devalue themselves. You feel like ‘I’m not worthy’ or something a little less than a high standard is okay to go by of cause, as long as it is not the least level at all. Patchiness to be precise is the word I suppose.

Many other people have experiences like this, at least Kiprotich, our ‘golden boy’ of London Olympics 2012 shares the same feelings with me. That is why I am also a golden boy in my own Olympia. Making one of those press statements, at least the most I heard being played as a news byte is ‘I will not die a useless man!’

Going through difficulties, struggles, and adversities in life most often predisposes one’s mind to such feelings of worthlessness or uselessness. Where the right attitude is not adopted, one might sink in and be abased to wretchedness. Many who have been privileged to be archived in the annals of history like Prophet Elijah, Moses, David the King in the bible; Martin Luther, Nelson Mandela, mother Theresa including me (yet to be) testify to this.

My mind is drawn to these words alluded to Nelson Mandela, ‘There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’

Yet sometimes to arrive at this pivotal point of the junction between the vile and noble stands the a voice of one who knows you; who should believe in you, trust you and invest their time to couch, mentor, encourage, prepare, resize and present you the platform to shine.

I was in a meeting and a friend looked at me and said, you are no ordinary, you still deserve better than you think you do. See, you need to resized yourself to fit the real you.

The threads of success

The papers were awash with today pictures of Kiprotich! What a glorious celebration of success, stardom, victory, glamour, whatever you choose to call it. This is what we all waited for what we all wanted to see from the beginning.

Our expectations were finally met in Kiprotich, when we had all lost our hopes of getting any gold. If you listened to the various radio stations or watched TV stations or read commentaries and columns in news papers, you would not miss the disenchantment, the nuisance, the defeat all tucked up the minds and expectations of Ugandans of team Uganda.

Complaints, blasphemy, blame, accusations, condemnations, abuses, calling of names marred the air was as program after program Ugandans woke up to vent their anger at the performance of our only hopefuls like Dorcus Inzikuru and Kipsiro as they fell way below set world standards of performance.

Ugandans gave up and never ever expected the star of Kiprotich to rise amidst the dark of disdain. But when you pick up the papers and other media in Uganda, you pick up the story behind Kiprotich’s victory.

Threads of hard work, determination, never giving up amidst adversity and trying situations knit together the talent, and resilience of the personality of Kiprotich to beautifully crown this glorious victory as a mark in the apex of history.

Kiprotich outlasted all of our patience, our hopes and expectations as Ugandans during the 2012 Olympics with his own fervent diligence which he so graciously has nurtured for long to realize this gold medal.

At a point, before he overtook his contenders on that long track, he seemed to be limping and stressing under the pain of hard work and at a time thought, maybe he won’t make it to the front. But that gallant attitude and spirit of a winner sprung as though unnoticed to work its way right to the top to grab the gold medal. The same thread patiently used through time knits the pieces of everyone else’ success!

Indelible Marks

It helps just to connect with people, to listen to the things others are saying; to hear others stories of why they are different. We all have needs as humans that make all of us common. Wisdom often dwells in simplicity and not the sophisticated complexion of vain knowledge.

He is a driver and this time I had hired him as we drove home. Many things we chatted out from some minor politics, sports and then social life till we reached this humbling and yet learning point for me.

We were meant to branch off to the right at this T junction. The traffic was intense with heavy trucks flowing consistently back and forth as we were caught up in the midst of the road. With a speeding truck still a distance of 10 to 15 meters approaching. 

I remembered what another driver would do. It happened once and I was uncomfortable. Later it happened the second and third times where he branched at the right side of the junction and not the left. I guess complacency crept in and the feeling of discomfort left. Instead a feeling of bravery, sharpness arose to swallow my sense of reason and right.

Then I told him what the other driver used to do, in a way suggesting that it was okay for him to do the same.

‘You see, I had a supervisor when I had just started working and driving. Every day I would bring the car back with scratches due to the reckless nature of driving in Kampala. My other bosses recommended my dismissal but this supervisor would say, no, he is young and has been driving in the village, he will catch up’ he retorted.

‘Then the supervisor took me aside and said my son, when you are driving, be steady… do this and the other… to be a better driver. From that day, I do not get cars scratched unless it is someone else’ mistake.’

Mentoring gave him a chance to survive. He could not do what the other first driver would do because some older, more experienced and caring supervisor; not related to him by consanguinity, dared to call him son. That mentor crafted and curved a mark of professionalism, patience and distinction not even the excitement of foolish bravery could attempt to erase.

Determination Thespian

Madam teacher Sally was her name and I was in Primary Two when I first heard her say these words of ‘wisdom’ which I later learnt was also the motto of a school, ‘determination is the key.’ Determination is the key word for me as I sat and watched the 2012 Olympics 3000 meters steeple chase race where one of the very key participants or at least the one who evoked most attention was Dorcus Inzikuru.

She has been a gold medalist before and then things took sort of a downward trend for her after she gave birth to her first child and then went through challenges in her relationship, news which was awash in all news media in Uganda.

Dorcus is known to me, being an OG from Secondary School. Since the days of her ascent to stardom and glory, I have never had chance to meet with, let alone being in touch. So I am not going to claim to have been the one who made her win the gold medals she did.

Driving around northern by-pass, Kyebando or Bukoto areas in the outskirts of Kampala city you would not miss her doing her thing, every morning. Most often she would be alone, appear so focused, speeding as she run and would wave at people who cared to wave at her.

One fortunate morning I by passed her around Kyebando, she saw me and I stopped to greet this old friend. She was breathing hard, looked sweaty from her morning jogging. She showed me the house she was staying in after some two three minutes chat and said she was preparing for the Olympics qualifiers.  I did not know when or where they were meant to be though I wished her well and we parted. I was so happy to later learn that she actually qualified for the 2012 London Olympics.

Knowing where she hails from and the things she had been through, you would see a person determined and single hearted at succeeding again especially having tasted the sweetness of success on a world stage. Personal determination, self drive, hard work and simplicity are few of the memorable qualities she exudes from her personality.

Today saw her win that same race she won a few years back again. Don’t scold me please! I know she did not get the gold or silver or even the bronze! You could see her strive as though exhaustibly as she through her strides on the track.

She staged what Madam Teacher Sally said to me so long ago, determination! Going through her experiences, pushing through nearly alone with so little, if any, support from her country, she was my heroine today! Time, given time and with the right resources, that same key can and will earn her another gold.

Struck By the Ebola Bane

There are these times when something happens and you kind of get the feeling that it is far off, or maybe it will not get to where you are. What often cushions our pseudo fences or rather fears of such life threatening news, especially where it is a disease like ebola, nodding syndrome or HIV AIDS, is the make belief that where it is happening is far off or that it is not affecting a person near enough or known to us.

It is in Kagadi, or in the West or North! The people living in the actual fear should be those dwelling in such places. Often whether Christians or not, people kind of would talk of praying for them; whether in fact they do is another story.

Yes, it is all over the news, TV or Radio discussions but it kind of sounds like what has been there before and somehow you feel it will go away somehow or they will deal with it anyhow!

Then walks in a gentleman to my office that carries this poise of a political analyst of some sorts and tends to speak intelligibly about issues in the news, what’s hot and ne bigendereko! (I hope that is right). His view is that ebola is a sign of poverty! It is not my view, I know you know! By no means I’m I undermining the impact of such diseases!

Well, the ordinary me enjoys and loves to greet. Not touching the palms of another superficially but giving a thoroughly firm grip of their hand; may be a sign of my own villageness.

Then walks in another young man who had this amazingly inviting smile to which one would of necessity be drawn to respond to definitely with teeth flashing! And as is my trend, out-stretched went my hand to greet him. This time round, the gentleman hesitated, held back his hand and retorted there is ebola! The president says people should stop giving handshakes!

Shamefully and shyly I drew back my hand and it struck me that this ebola scourge, whether the analyst opines it as poverty, besides killing people, can actually kill off some of those cultures and practices we all have been so fond of.

Wheeled down the aisle

In a car on the way to work, I tuned to one of my favorite radio stations to catch up with the stories of the day. This time round it was a discussion on a story of a lady who had taken her boyfriend to be introduced to her family. The family of the lady seemingly refused to accept the fact that their daughter would marry a man of such a nature, a disabled man on a wheelchair. They discouraged her, and asked her to drop the idea.

I picked interest and keenly listened in as caller after caller shared their views. One of the presenters of the program then commented that every parent dreams of the day their girl would bring home the man of her dreams; a man who will walk her down the aisle. ‘No parent imagines her girl taking a man down the aisle in a wheelchair’.

One caller commented that it is all about love. If they love each other, the parents should let them be. ‘If they continue against the wishes of her parents, it may not go well with her someday in the future’ the discussion went on.

I sat back to think as I listened in, what could be going on in the mind of the parents of this guy, the subject of this discussion. What dreams do they have regarding their son? Will any girl, let alone the beautiful ones, agree to ever marry our son? If she does, because of love of course, will her parents be agreeable to it?

How about the subject of the discussion? What questions would be going through his mind? How does he deal with the realities of such a candid and deliberate rejection from his would be parents in law? Would he cope with it or overcome it? Will he ever dream of love again?

With a deep longing, I desired to see or even meet that young man, look him in the eye and say to him ‘hold on!’ ‘Don’t give up on love!’ ‘Know that someone still cares about you and loves you!’ well it was time, a commercial run and soon there was sports news as time and the day went.

Much respect is deserved by parents of a girl who relentlessly and with gladness that comes from trust let go the hands of their beautiful girl, onto the handles of a wheelchair rather than into the hands of a lovely young man walking her down the aisle. Greater admiration, in fact love, is deserved by that girl too, who chooses, despite all odds, not to be walked but wheeled down the aisle.